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lookninjas:

maxkirin:

Today I had a long talk with one of my followers, they shared with me their story, and I shared mine with them. When everything was said, I felt it was time to pass on a piece of advice I’d been given years before.

Anyone who claims to be your “friend” but doesn’t celebrate your victories, and never misses your failures, is NOT your “friend.”

This goes for all walks of life, but it echoes louder for artists, writers, and musicians. If you have someone who claims to be your “friend” but has done nothing but hinder you, your passion, and your craft— then you have my permission to walk away.

There’s a saying in Mexico…

"I would rather be alone than in bad company."

Stay strong, dear followers. You don’t ‘owe’ anyone your friendship. It doesn’t matter if you have known each other your whole life, or if you just met. You have a limited time on this planet, don’t waste it surrounded by people who hinder your art.

One thing I want to add — a lot of these types of people will say, “Well, I just want you to be realistic.  I’m not gonna blow smoke up your ass.  I don’t want to give you false hope.  I’m too honest a person.” 

Here is the thing — someone who is only “honest” when it suits their purposes, who deliberately ignores half the truth in order to paint the picture that they want you to see?  That person is a fucking liar. 

And I’d love to say just ignore the liars, but I recognize it’s not that easy.  It’s actually really hard when someone’s focusing on selective truths like that, enforcing a pattern where you ignore all the good and focus only on the bad.  That’s why so many abusers pull shit like this — that’s why it works.  Humans show this kind of bias all the time; our brains are wired for it.  It’s really hard to break the pattern. 

But when you can, and it’s best to make an honest to God habit of it — like, put it on your calendar once a day or once a week or once a month or as often as you think will help you — pull out all the acceptance letters and awards and praise.  Take time to focus on the amazing things you’ve accomplished.  Pull back and look at the whole picture of who you are — not just the negative things that you’re being encouraged to dwell on — but all of you.  Whole picture.  Remind yourself of who you are and what you can do and how much ass you are capable of kicking.

And then go kick some more ass. 

(Maybe start with the so-called friends).

Really, really good advice.

I’m good at looking forward, at the next wall to knock down or mountain to climb.

I’m not so good at pulling out my accomplishments.

phiftycent:

policymic:

16-year-old dresses as every culture and counterculture of the last 100 years

Flapper. Beatnick. Hippie. Hipster. 

In her project “Counter // Culture,” 16-year-old photographer Annalisa Hartlaub captures all the mainstream and countercultural movements that have defined the last 10 decades. The results are a stirring series of portraits that bring life to a century of women, contextualizing how the friction of mainstream and counterculture defined progression. 

Read more | Follow policymic

this is dope

(Source: micdotcom)

medievalpoc:

From the Medievalpoc Facebook Page.

Works like Reconstructing the Black Image by Gordon de la Mothe are absolutely the inspiration for a project like Medievalpoc. It’s an honor to have one of the pioneers into this rarely seen niche of European Art History supporting the bringing of these images and this research to a new audience.

Online research, digitized collections, museum websites and social media are helping to bring academic truths to the people who are most affected by the misinformation about history we get from media and sometimes, educational institutions. I take a more interdisciplinary approach as well, and it’s my hope that through that we can get a more well-rounded idea about people of color and history.

urulokid:

jellybaby74:

urulokid:

zionicbond:

urulokid:

chibitamichan:

urulokid:

Yeah I’m totally elsa kids come on over

I can’t breathe, this is so friggin cute

Like you don’t understand okay I was trapped for an hour on the second floor of the con with hundreds of children and their parents because everyone thought I was Elsa

Am I the only one who thinks she looks like the khaleesi like The mother of dragons?

I was cosplaying dany I was mistaken for Elsa and wound up at a nine yr old girls birthday party this was the best day of my life

I thought she was Kalesi…

YES I WAS COSPLAYING KHALEESI

I WAS HOWEVER MISTAKEN ON AN ENORMOUS SCALE FOR ELSA OF ARENDELLE BY HUNDREDS OF SMALL CHILDREN AND THEIR MOTHERS

Have you ever heard the phrase cockblocking? You know, you’re at a bar, talking to a girl, and what happens? Her less attractive friend comes over and ruins everything. Cockblock. Well I have to tell you something guys: I have been the less attractive friend, and you were NOT cockblocked. I was following orders from my better-looking friend that she did not wanna fuck you. …Girls have two signals for their friends: ‘I’m gonna fuck him’ and ‘HELP.’

Amy Schumer [x] (via rashaka)

The number of “get me out of here” tactics women have developed and shared to help each other escape from overly-insistent-to-borderline-predatory dudes in public places should probably be enough evidence of the existence of rape culture all on its own.

(via madgastronomer)

YES

(via ellakrystina)

I especially like how, in the majority of cases, you don’t have to verbally communicate what your signals are to other women. I’ve had women I didn’t even know come save me. Literally every woman recognizes the “Dear god, help me” facial expression, and knows exactly what they should do. We don’t get a handbook for this. We don’t have a sit-down nail polish party where we talk about a standardized woman code for preventing creepers. It’s just part of being a woman.

BUT LOL RAPE CULTURE DOESN’T EXIST.

(via eastberlin)

Yup. I’ve definitely taken strangers by the arm and pulled her aside to go, “Oh my GOD it’s you! How ARE YOU?!? It’s been so long!” and then been like “hey I could overhear that guy who wouldn’t leave you alone so I figured I’d give you an out” and then see their VISIBLY RELIEVED expressions. This is part of girl code, because rape culture is that pervasive.

(via thebicker)

I once had a girl sit on my lap and say “hey baby” after she witnessed a guy (who was easily 20+ years older than me) hitting on me and harassing me for my number even after I told him I was taken. After he got up and left she asked if I was okay. I couldn’t thank her enough times, I even bought her a drink.

(via castielsmiles)

We have done this. In fact, we are this. Because we are asexual and we don’t like alcohol so we never drink, we have gone with friends to parties/places where our sole job was to keep an eye out for everyone and be the permanent ‘aggressive man-sheild.’ Not one of our female friends has ever questioned this or found it all strange. In fact, often once they realized we were willing to do it, it would be pre-arranged. Every guy friend we ever did this in front of or tried to explain to looked flabbergasted. They had no idea that this was a) an intentional thing, b) a planned ahead thing, or c) universal.

Rape culture is the fact that every woman understands this. Male privilege is the fact that no guy on earth seems to know or understand.

(via cractasticdispatches)

I’ve been asked to pretend to be my friend’s girlfriend every time we go out at night, just because she wears clothes that show off her curves and guys won’t leave her alone. They only back off when I put my arm around her and act as if we’re together romantically, and sometimes not even then.

(via zaataronpita)

i once ran interference for a friend, only to receive the unwanted advances myself. he wouldn’t back off until my (male) friend literally wrapped me up in his arms and acted as if he was my S.O.

(via miljathefailcat)

It happens online too. A guy I know started Facebook-stalking me after a recent interaction, and my roommate immediately got on Facebook and told him she was my girlfriend. He thankfully backed off after that.

I can’t count the number of times I have pretended to be somebody’s girlfriend or sister in a bar when a guy wouldn’t leave her alone. Both with friends and strangers.

(via feministsupernatural)

After reading these, I feel like taking a shower. Because I’m the designated driver pretty much every time, not being a big fan of alcohol, but I rarely, if ever, intervene. And yeah, I’m small and pretty physically weak, but I could put my foot down verbally if it came down to it. I’m just too scared.

(via harperhug)

You’re probably scared of confronting the guys.  And you should be.  That’s what this whole post is about.  Rape culture is so prevalent and socially accepted as the rule of the land that if someone confronts a guy and tells him directly to back off, someone is getting hurt.  That’s why all of the testimonies here are examples of how to deflect.  How women all learn methods of pulling a woman away from a situation with a guy who isn’t allowing her to say no, by making up some lie that will get the guy to let her go without sending him into a rage and deciding to teach you both a lesson about knowing your place and submitting to rape culture.  Men are dangerous in these situations because all of society backs them up as just a nice guy who deserves a chance, and vilifies any woman who refuses to give him a chance.  Women are not allowed to say no.  So other women have to rescue the women saying no and pull them away with some made up excuse.  Otherwise the situation will escalate and the ones who get hurt are always the women. 

(via coffeegleek)

Women absolutely have to learn rescue tactics for each other, but it’s kind of funny how we describe really obvious facial expressions and body language as “secret signals.” The reality is that women telegraph disinterest in these aggressive men, making it super obvious, but men choose to ignore it. Total strangers who are just sitting nearby or happen to glace their way will be able to see that the woman isn’t interested, but the guy making the advances is somehow oblivious? Unlikely.

(via smitethepatriarchy)

And its fucked because women actively know the signs while men have refused to learn any body language signal of “leave me alone” that women do.

Women are always the one who have to accommodate their behavior to suit mens egos.

(via sourcedumal)

A couple months ago, I saw a man harassing a young girl on the bus at night. When she moved away from him, he followed. So did I. I asked if she was getting off in my neighborhood so I could walk her home, but she had to catch the train. I was so scared for her.

(via catyuy)

Agent Carter follows the story of Peggy Carter. It’s 1946, and peace has dealt Peggy Carter a serious blow as she finds herself marginalized when the men return home from fighting abroad. Working for the covert SSR (Strategic Scientific Reserve), Peggy must balance doing administrative work and going on secret missions for Howard Stark, all while trying to navigate life as a single woman in America.

(Source: silvertons)

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